Dear Mr. Messi
For ten years or more, I have been pretending. Pretending to not know that you truly are the greatest of all time, like Mohammed Ali. You are truly the GOAT and I had to let you know that I really respect you and that you are my only reason for not giving up on hope of a good life with sexy girls and money.
Dont get me wrong I’m sexy and I’m awesome, but it’s time you know, that you are my hero!
Every time I see Barca play I cry. Cry because I ended up playing for Real Madrid. I loved my time at Real, but I only went to Real because my real dream couldn’t happen. I have always dreamed of playing by your side, so I could really see you, touch you and learn from who I truly believe to be number one.
After the famous 5-0 Barcelona win against Real Madrid, I cried. I cried me a fucking river. I actually took my tight speedoes on to take a swim in the river of Cristiano tears, but my tools couldn’t fit the speedo. To much space for a pair of boys nuts. Cristiano cried because the dream was to win 5-0 with Barca against Real Madrid and now I was on the wrong side.
I tried to comfort my self with all the ladies in the world. I simply banged my way through the sadness. The problem is that it didn’t help me. I started banging women who didn’t really want to, wich now means, that I am a man being accused of rape. Can CR7 really be charged of anything? I smile, but inside I cry.
I’m right now writing you to let you know that you are my true inspiration and to let you know that I’m in awe off all of your talents. I’m sorry if I disappointed you with my raping, but I will spend my life trying to make it up to you, cause you are the only man whose opinion matter to me.
Dear Mr. Messi.
Please continue performing for us fans.
Best regards from a product of seconds.
Cristiano Ronaldo – The choice of the ladies – except the ones he raped.
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