We are one of those club’s in the world of football who loves oil. We swim in it, we drink it and sometimes we actually dry it up and smoke it, just because we simply love oil. It was actually a few puffs of dried up oil, that made Sergio Aguero’s hair white as a ginger ninja. He was high as a fucking kite.
Dear UEFA, we have used up all our oil. We love oil like a fat kid loves cake, please help us survive!
Or at least tell us how we can get around that financial fair play stuff. Our Sultan – who is gay by the way – talked a little about having a manly thing going on with one of the big dudes at your office. Big muscles and a heavy sack, does that ring a bell? He is called “Da just fuckit rocket” as far as I have heard, so do you know him?
He should have some hot-shot lawyers who could maybe help us, so we can stay in the Match for as long as possible!? Do you have a number we could call? I know Raheem Sterling would have no problem, swallowing a pound or two in the name of “the Citizens”, so get back to us please!
What we are saying is that we are prepared to do everything to stay on top and not having to think about the financial fair play stuff. Mostly because we are now finally better than Manchester United. The city is blue now and we want to keep it that way, because the city deserves blue.
Maybe “Da just fuckit rocket” can choose a couple of guys from our lineup? A couple of guys willing to sell their ass and soul for the club, literally. Manchester City are hoping from deep within that you can give us a few pointers, so we can live on with hopes high.
Please help the blue side of Manchester.
Best regards, from a United Arab Emirates playground.
Manchester City – the choice of few.
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